How the questions in my life have changed

So, someone asked me today if I was going through "the change". (my husband was not the 'someone' as he is still breathing) As completely inappropriate and dangerous as asking that question was, it made me think of the milestone-type questions in my life.

We bask in questions like: "would you like to go out with me?" "will you go to prom with me?", "will you marry me?". These questions are about childhood, growing up & the future.

With heavy hearts we hear questions like: "how much longer?", "is he in pain?", "when is the funeral?" They speak of loved ones we can't bear to part with.

We beam with questions like: "are you pregnant?". "when are you due?", "is it a boy or a girl?". They are questions of hope, happiness and life.

We ponder sincerely with questions like: "should we take the job?" "is this the house?" "do you accept this calling?". They aren't to be taken lightly and will probably alter our course.

Most of these are happy questions. Some bittersweet. We look forward to most questions as a rite of passage. Some note the end of a season. But all a part of life's cycle.

Such as it is with the question I was asked today, "are you going through the change?". Unlike the others, I do not bask, beam, ponder or even have a heavy heart. It's more along the lines of dread. I'm not there, yet. But, at 42, it's lurking around every corner. It's taunting and mocking me. And I know there is no escape. It's the end to some questions and a precursor to others. It also clearly answers another questions, one I've been avoiding--"yep, you are getting old" a voice seems to whisper. And I'm not quite ready to be there yet.

So, for today I'll put the question aside. I'll play with my 8 and 10 year old who always make me feel young. I'll enjoy the beautiful summer day. I'll remember that my husband is 13 1/2 years older than me-so what do I have to complain about? (sorry Mark, but it does make me feel a little better.) I'll live in today and be happy.